Night of the Seagulls
Night of the Seagulls

Posted by Maggot Man
2/1/2007
Released on: 1975
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073461/

The Night of the Seagulls is the fourth in the venerable line of blind Templer zombie (BTZs to us hep 2nd floor Fig cats) movies, a series of Spanish-made horror films that are famous, in, well, maybe Spain if they're lucky. The films are starting to take on embarrassingly comfortable, familiar feel to them, like that "Wham" concert t-shirt you used to wear in high school 'til someone told you George Michael was gay. They are, in a word, dependable.

Like you can depend on their titles to make no discernable sense whatsoever. BTZ 4 is no exception. Here you got the next installment of a series in which zombies slice and dice their way through the Iberian countryside and there ain't a peep about the zombies. Instead there's some crap about seagulls. Now I ask you. Did Friday the 13th demonstrate an overwhelming need to name one of its entries Day of the Small Mouth Bass? Did Nightmare on Elm Street resort to Week of the Squirrel? Did Halloween include times and beings in any of its titles? Huh? Season of the Witch? Okay, besides that. So what's the problem here? Did the guy coming up with the titles get scared by a seagull when he was a kid? Seagulls do not convey terror unless:

They are in "The Birds"

Your sister still has her autographed picture of that guy from Flock of Seagulls
You are old enough to remember Jonathan Livingston Seagull

You'd just buried the wheels of your brand spankin' new Beemer convertible to the fenders on a California beach and you can't get the roof back up.

Couple that with the fact that as best as I could make out, the German title of this movie is something about the beach and you understand why Spanish film just hasn't taken off yet.

Rating: On the Madonna In a Leading Role as An Actress Scale (Best equals Desperately Seeking Susan, worst equals Shanghai Surprise), this movie rates a Swept Away, which coincidentally is what you should do with it.

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